How to individually wrap a cup of drip coffee, and a look at my morning routine

Japan is and remains the land of convenience and excessive wrapping. They have a solution for anything, and everything comes in a bag. When you take your plastic-wrapped product out of its bag to open, you usually find that the contents are lovingly individually wrapped. Because we do not want the cookies to contaminate each other. At the checkout counter, these bags get placed in additional bags for safe-keeping. Hot and cold items get separate bags. And since there are no dustbins (yay for British English), I usually come home with fifty-some bags in my bag. I PUT THEM IN A BAG.

A good example of this wrappy convenience comes in the shape of a bag of coffee I got.

Super special

I know I know I know all my barista friends hate me for this, but in the morning I'm not looking for good coffee. I'm looking for roundhouse-kick-to-the-brain so thick you eat it with a spoon coffee. And since I don't have a proper coffee-maker at home at all, instant it is.

But this is instant coffee with a twist.

Inside the bag, each cup has it's own bag. First, you eagerly await the water to boil (for example by snuggling back to bed until the beeper on the stove tells you it's ready).
 

I don't have a kettle. I have one pan.
I use it for everything. It's a good pan.

The contents of each bag is a bona-fide one-cup coffee filter, with filter-coffee inside.

It opens up like a beautiful flower.

You put it on your cup.

You manually pour water into the filter, making a huge mess and spilling boiling water everywhere. Try not to get it on your hands.

Then you wait for a bit, refilling the filter at need.

Cup full? Remove filter. It is garbage now. Throw it away.

Now you are ready to watch the news, get energized, and face your daily commute full of that early morning vitality and enthusiasm.

Kaffeslabberas

The misadventures of a New Zealander, a Norwegian, and an Icelandic person, together in the country of the Horribly Weak Coffee.

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We decided to have a proper Afternoon Coffee (because Afternoon Tea is for sissies and British people (no relation)). You see, it is not all that easy to get yourself a good cup of black yum in this place. I have heard a rumour that Japanese people have a liver function about half as effective as your average Scandinavian, and by the strength of their caffeinated beverages I am inclined to believe it. So we bought some fresh ground Brazilian beans and got brewin'.

But first, an improvised dinner.

Cheap Cava, because it's Monday that's why.

Bread glorious bread.

Do you know what else is expensive and hard to come by? Do you see that bread? Most Japanese bread is not bread. No really. It's not even trying. It's ... butter cake. Or something. But this baguette actually didn't totally fail at being a baguette, and so it holds the title as the first marginally decent piece of bread I've had since I left Norway. Also, take a look at the bottom left corner of the picture above. Yeah, I'll get back to that later...


Anyways, every good Norwegian knows that you can't have Kaffeslabberas (Afternoon Coffee yeah?) without waffles. And I'm not talking about your big floppy American waffle, nor your stiff and thick Belgian kind. I'm talking about Norwegian (or possibly Scandinavian) waffles. Social waffles. The Waffles of Happiness and Koselig.

Yeah I'm making waffles in Japan. What did you do today?

This is actually sugar, I swear.
Or, if it really was what both look and texture
would suggest, it would certainly explain
why my waffles were so delicious.

Of course, I had to use soy milk because Icelandic people are vampires who explode when exposed to dairy products (#CommonKnowledge). 

And of course, I didn't actually have a waffle iron. So, being a genius, I made waffle batter pancakes.

In a rectangular pan.

Is a waffle without a waffle iron still a waffle?
Is this a relevant question, or am I just
waffling?

Behold the Rectangular Scandinavian Waffle Pancakes!

I believe the word you're looking for is YUM!

But wait!

There's more.

I HAD A BROWN CHEESE! AND A GODDAMN CHEESE SLICER!

YEAH! Suck on my patriotism; it is delicious!

But I was not the only person bringing my culture to the table. My New Zealandian compatriot bestowed upon our table the gift of Vegimite*!

*I'm reading Lord of the Rings at the moment, 'kay? My English is pretty malleable.

This, the most important of New Zealand cuisine. (Sorry, Marmite people)

She also opened my eyes to the magic that is New Zealand comercials. Seriously. You go youtube that shit right now; there is a world of wonder to which you may awaken dare you only take the first step. I will even  help you. This is an airline safety video. You should click on that link. You should watch it, and come back here afterwards.


....done?

Okay.

Eventually we did get to the coffee. Lacking better equipment, we shared the use of my Bodum french press coffee cup. The afternoon streched into the late night in the end, and we just had a ballin' time.

Although in our haste we might have filled the cup up a bit too much on occation.

Now I'm going to go to sleep.

If I can.

After all, I did have quite a lot of coffee.