Oh god why

I've gone and done it.

I've stowed away all my furniture, had my big going away party, commited almost-suicide by cleaning chemicals and I GTFO. Spent last night at my sisters place in Oslo, got a total of two-ish hours of sleep, and now I'm hanging out in Amsterdam with a lot of other travelling-type people.

And right now, I really wish I wasn't.

I mean seriously. I don't think I've ever been this nervous about anything ever. I'm all alone, and so far a lot of things have been quite a lot less than ideal. What the hell am I doing? I'm not prepared for this! Not at all. I didn't really think I was, but I was hoping I was a little less right than I am.

The really scary thing is the Japanese immigration people. Because I do not have all my shit as in order as I'd like, and I have this sneaking suspicion that they prefer things to be very neatly planned and very very much in order.

I really feel like this will not be OK. And I know I always say that, but there's this pit of fear in my stomach that I can't seem to get rid of. Please please please let everything work out!