Running wild

My body felt like a rotten potato, and I had a lot of pent up energy. So, I decided to go for a run.

I am not a runner. I am, in fact, really bad at it. And these days, I'm in terrible shape. Thinking, "half an hour along the train line should do it. If I push too hard I'll just get demotivated and I don't really feel like "working out" anyway. I just want to move a bit.". I kicked my ass into gear.

After 30 minutes, I no longer had any idea where I was. After 40, I had to admit to being totally and completely lost.

At first, panic. I had brought no money, and no maps. Literally, no resources to help me find my way. The narrow streets of the residential neighborhood twisted in a never-ending labyrinth and I suddenly felt acutely aware of the sheer immesurable ammount of city around me.  There might as well not be an end.  Start running in the wrong direction here and you will run forever.

Then something interesting happened in my mind. It's been a long time since I felt so clear-headed. Only one thing stood out: It's already getting darker. You have to find home before nightfall.

I started questing around. Found some street-corner maps, but couldn't make much sense of them. It seemed I had left my own area well behind. How? No clue.

It started raining. And I, inexplicably, smiled.

At one point, in moderate desperation, I started following a foreigner on a bike, just hoping he was going to my highly foreigner-saturated neighborhood. Following a bicyclist on foot. I had clearly gone insane. When he didn't seem to be going in my right mental direction I eventually condescended to call out, asking him for directions. He laughed a little, "Komaba? Oh, that's pretty far. If you follow this road you'll get to Shimokitazawa, if that helps.". It did. I know Shimokitazawa. I set off.

Laughing at myself and my frankly idiotic predicament, I suddenly found myself able to run further and faster than I ever did before. Don't get me wrong, for an experienced runner this would still be very slow and patchy, and I often walked for a while to catch my breath. But still. I felt strong. I felt motivated by the knowledge that if I didn't keep a good pace I probably wouldn't get home before next morning.

For the first time in forever, I also found myself completely totally not giving a shit about what I looked like. I was sweating and panting and smiling like an idiot in my ill-fitting little-used workout clothes and shocking pink jogging shoes and I felt amazing.

There is something to be said about running from necessity rather than the multitude of other dubious self-motivating factors I usually depend on to get off my ass.

The whole ordeal only took about two hours. Again, this is not long for an experienced runner. It is really long for me.

The sun was just setting as I finally saw the high-rise university buildings of the campus where I live.

Now all that remained was to jump in the shower and go to the conbini to buy the unhealthiest dinner I could get my hands on.

"I did something unusual. Don't know if more proud or just surprised."

I feel like I suddenly understand how and why people run long distances. Does that mean I'll ever do this again? Maybe. But I have the feeling the blerch in me still stands strong, so it might be a while.