This is not the blog post you are looking for

Geh, I'll make some kind of introduction to Tokyo life later. Right now, I have a more pressing issue to address.

Dear all future mothers and fathers of Norway, and of the world.

Every day, it seems our world gets smaller. At this time of history we as a species are more connected than ever before, both indirectly through the internet, and directly, through our astounding ability to travel around the world in negligible time.

In days like these it is little wonder that international cooperation becomes more important than ever before. Therefore, I implore you; help your children in this regard. It is so very simple to do. All I ask is that you give them a name that can travel.

Seriously. 'Hanne Siri Amdahl Heglum'. Mom, Dad, I love you guys but what were you thinking?!?

Try saying that to an American. Then, after embarrasing yourself, try spelling it in Japanese Katakana. I've been filling out a lot of forms lately, so I've had to make it work somehow and it has been such fun. Not only is it ridiculously long, "Siri" also directly spells out "shi ri", which litterally means ASS. (I write it with a long i, "shi i ri", to marginally reduce the level of potty humour.)

In addition to that, do I have two last names, or three first names? I don't know. My passport says three first one last, but nobody's ever gone around calling me 'HSA'.

And I haven't even started on how to use this overlong namextravaganza in casual conversation. I've generally given up on 3/4 of it to make it easier, but it's still no walk in the petting zoo, I can tell you that.

"Hi, I'm Hanne!", I'll introduce myself with a smile.

"Hana?"

"Hanne."

"Hanna?"

"Ha - n - ne."

"Hana?"

"Yes."

And so I become 'Hana', which means 'Flower', my adorably quaint North European stripper pseudonym.

Every now and then, I consider just officially becomming 'Hana Shiri' - The Flower Ass.

And you will never know the horrors I went through to find this on google image search.